I rarely sit still. I don't relax like most people think of relaxation. When my house is clean and organized, I feel less anxious. When the grass is cut and clear, I enjoy sitting outside more. I love pulling weeds. It gives me such satisfaction taking the junk out of the ground and manicuring flower beds, by yanking them out and getting dirty. I don't typically sit and just watch television. I'm either on my phone scrolling or working on something on my computer. I'm a veracious reader of non-fiction, historical fiction or stories that involve warrior women overcoming societal norms. Never just fluff reading. Reaction being part of my nature, its been a growth challenge for me to PAUSE. As a leader I've always believed that I needed to have all the answers, that I needed to have immediate solutions or that everything was urgent. This led me to burnout, making too many mistakes and going back on initial decisions. Being so reactive also caused me not think about ...
I rarely sit still. I don't relax like most people think of relaxation. When my house is clean and organized, I feel less anxious. When the grass is cut and clear, I enjoy sitting outside more. I love pulling weeds. It gives me such satisfaction taking the junk out of the ground and manicuring flower beds, by yanking them out and getting dirty. I don't typically sit and just watch television. I'm either on my phone scrolling or working on something on my computer. I'm a veracious reader of non-fiction, historical fiction or stories that involve warrior women overcoming societal norms. Never just fluff reading. Reaction being part of my nature, its been a growth challenge for me to PAUSE.
As a leader I've always believed that I needed to have all the answers, that I needed to have immediate solutions or that everything was urgent. This led me to burnout, making too many mistakes and going back on initial decisions. Being so reactive also caused me not think about what is really important to me!!! I've always been worried about everyone else around me and expectations that were thrust upon me, but not really what brings me joy.
A practice that I started this school year was waiting/pausing to respond to emails; especially from parents. I always felt that when a parent was unhappy and shot off hurtful, hateful, heated emails, that I needed to answer them and respond to answer their needs. However, my response always ended up fueling their confusion, frustration or anger. For majority of families its been better to actually talk to them. Most of the time a parent is venting by being a keyboard warrior, making empty threats or spuing vitriol about one of my decisions, staff members or their child's peer.
By taking extra time to think about what I'm going to say to them, predicating their reaction and managing my own emotions, I'm able to have a more productive conversation that is empathetic and solution focused.
This has also been extremely helpful when witnessing "anonymous" comments on social media, where parents may be asking a question to the community that could have been easily answered by contacting the classroom teacher or myself. There may be enough information to each out to a specific parent via phone call, or I'll address the concern in my weekly family newsletter by sharing specific information that increased clarity and encourages a more collaborative option for receiving their answers or addressing their concerns.
In being a generally reactive person, I can also be judgy. There are many times in my past that I've been burned by trusting colleagues, past friends and family members. I am very hesitant to give out trust and will frequently have irrational thoughts that people are lying, only thinking of their best interest or trying to manipulate me in some way.
This type of thinking has pushed away potential friendships, developing trusting relationships with staff and also has effected how I interact with my children.
In acting this way, I'm not allowing myself to be vulnerable, due to my past experiences. I'm also not allowing myself to be open to potential opportunities because I'm trying to keep my heart from being hurt again.
However it is important to try to Assume Positive Intent by Listening Generously & Speak Effectively. I may not be able to do this in every instance, especially with people who have proven to me to be less trustworthy or situations that I've experienced to be unfavorable in the past. But choosing to be less cynical and assuming positive intent within a moment of pause; by checking my emotions and not just saying the first thing that comes to my brain (which can be negative or snarky) allows me to breath and make a better choice.
Yoga, weightlifting and journaling have allowed me to purposefully pause. When I am on my mat or counting my reps, I'm able to focus. I can let go of any attachments to be perfect, to have all the answers or be what others want me to be. I can lean into my strengths and respond more effectively.
Taking the time for myself gives me a chance to think, truly reflect on what's happened during the day or what will be happening in the future, and make better choices. I'm also able to communicate with myself gratitude for all the amazing resources, support and achievements that I've been able to manifest into my life.
Relaxing for me will still be very active. Getting shit done makes me feel better!!! Checking off priorities at work or at home reduces my anxieties. However, having an activity that allows me to turn my brain somewhat off, focus inward and PAUSE, gives me the opportunity to consider all options, focus my thoughts and generally make better choices with my words and my actions.
Pausing isn’t laziness; it’s wisdom. Stepping back from the noise and constant movement allows us to create space for clarity, reflection, and meaningful progress. - Baustani
Leading with Purpose: Harnessing the Power of Pause for Prioritization and Productivity
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