Rest

I do not know how to relax. My mind is constantly going with my to do list, ideas, solutions, or thinking about what I could have, should have or will do. I have to actively choose to rest and relax. Otherwise, I feel like I always have to be "doing". I have to plan for rest in my life to make sure that I'm not burning out. 

I think this behavior stems from my father. I was extremely poor as a child. My dad worked several jobs, just for us to have our home, food & clothes. He would get up before we were awake for school to go to his first job at Pace (suburban bus transportation). Then he'd come home, make sure that he had all his tools and head off to his "side job" landscaping or home improvement for others. Sometimes he would have two to three houses he'd be working on. In the summer and on the weekends I would go along and help put up retention walls, hold drywall, dig fence posts, whatever was needed. I wasn't the kid that was on sports teams, took dance classes or went on expensive vacations. I worked!!! But I was spending time with my dad, we'd chat and I would always be learning new hands on skills. 

When I was fifteen, I got a job at Super Crown Books. Before I even had a car, I would ride my bike the few miles to the store and by the time I was sixteen, I was working 40 hours a week, while also being in high school. But I loved it!!! I loved being trusted, having responsibility and my own money. Every chance that I had, I would work. Even when I went away to college I worked several different types of jobs. I delivered mail to Greek Court, I worked at the coffee shop in our student union and I also was a cook at a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. I was able to do all that while also being in a sorority and doing all my college work. 

As a new teacher, I put 100% of myself into my job. I hardly scheduled plan time as a special education resource teacher. I sponsored every type of club imaginable and joined every school committee. I also worked extended school year and had a second job at Northwest Special Recreation Association. As a young mom, we were off and running to every museum, library event, seasonal activity and was super social with the moms in the neighborhood. 

I thought doing all those things meant I was being a successful employee, the best mom and the life of the party with my friend group. But after awhile, I just became so burnt out. It wasn't until Covid that I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to relax. I was so antsy and during the winter months realized that I have seasonal depression. I didn't know how to sit with myself, how to be content just being present. That is when I realized I needed to make a change for my sanity and the sanity of interactions with my family. 

I started reading books about to calm my mind and how rest can be beneficial for not only my mental wellbeing, but also physical wellbeing. Some of my favorites were: The Little Book of Hygge, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Self-Love Workbook for Women and Untamed. 

I realized that resting is not being lazy, but really making sure that I have the energy and emotional capacity to tackle the big projects that a school administrator needs to undertake. There are seven types of rest that can replenish our ability to give and work effectively. How to get the 7 types of rest you need for success - by Alexis Zahner

For me, I do the following types of rest, that so far have been working for me. 

• Spiritual - I attend Blue Lotus Temple in Woodstock. Even though I was raised catholic, I feel more connection to the meditation, reflection and compassion from Blue Lotus. 
• Physical - I love the yoga sessions at The Yoga Lounge or Aris Yoga in Woodstock. I have also been more consistent with working out at Planet Fitness with the treadmill, weights and bike or rowing machine. 
• Sensory - I love to take time outside on my deck and read. Being in the sun, listening to the nature around me and getting off screens or having the TV on in the background. Sometimes, I'll even take a quick little nap in the sun and soak in the energy of the sun. 
• Mental - Journaling and blogging has allowed me to reflect and clear my mental space. I frequently overthink things, but when I get to journal, it helps me get it out of my head I can release the intense emotions that sometimes can come from perseverating on certain things that have happened in my life. 
• Social - I love meeting new people, taking class and learning with others. Also, I love getting to spend time with people I care about. Quality Time is a very predominant love language of mine and having fun experiences or just watching a movie together just makes my heart happy. 
• Creative - I've tried a bunch of activities that has allowed me to be creative. Candle making, soap making, cooking, gardening, canning and photography have been hobbies that I've started, gotten really excited about (spent a lot of money on) and then it fizzles out or I come back to it for a few weeks, then life happens again. However, writing has been a constant that seems to the most enjoyable, sustainable and inspirational type of creativity for me. 
• Emotional - Growth in this area has come with age. I have come to the realization that I do not need to please others, I really need to be able to please myself. I don't do well with fake or forced friendships. I will be cordial and respectful to anyone, but those relationships need to be two ways to be deep and meaningful. I also share what is on my mind. Being it through my blog or having honest conversations with others. It takes a lot for me to trust someone, but once I do, you get it all. You'll hear the good, bad and the ugly about me, my feelings and my frustrations. If I don't have that trust, you kind of get iced out and that is something that I'm working on. 

During this Labor Day three day weekend, I feel that I've been able to engage in quality rest. Which has been extra needed after the busy and energy draining beginning of the school year. I was able to workout several times, enjoy a yummy dinner with my husband, meet new people and support a new friend, watch my daughter play volleyball and meet new volleyball families, read in my backyard, attend a yoga class and spend time writing. I say that is a successful and reinvigorating weekend. The goal is to have more of these this school year, while also getting the needed work done and prioritizing myself, my family and my staff & students, while staying sane, positive and productive. 

That will happen with quality REST!!!