I rarely sit still. I don't relax like most people think of relaxation. When my house is clean and organized, I feel less anxious. When the grass is cut and clear, I enjoy sitting outside more. I love pulling weeds. It gives me such satisfaction taking the junk out of the ground and manicuring flower beds, by yanking them out and getting dirty. I don't typically sit and just watch television. I'm either on my phone scrolling or working on something on my computer. I'm a veracious reader of non-fiction, historical fiction or stories that involve warrior women overcoming societal norms. Never just fluff reading. Reaction being part of my nature, its been a growth challenge for me to PAUSE. As a leader I've always believed that I needed to have all the answers, that I needed to have immediate solutions or that everything was urgent. This led me to burnout, making too many mistakes and going back on initial decisions. Being so reactive also caused me not think about ...
Part of being a successful leader, is reflecting on what went well each school year and what you need to change in your own actions, instruction practices and personal or professional development. The phrase "We've always done it this way" is a dangerous mindset that hinders progress and innovation. We don't need to change for the sake of change, but we use data from assessments as well as the collective needs of students or staff as well as patterns of challenges or successes to develop possible action plans and solutions, for what's best for the school community.
Summer break for a school leader is not just for fun and downtime, which we desperately need to balance out our lives, but for deep reflection and development as well. There are times where I am all by myself in my building; all secretaries and custodians have left for vacation, project contractors are working on other schools and teachers are nowhere near coming into school to work in their classrooms. That is when I use that quiet, to walk the building, review student data, read professional books, listen to podcasts or watch webinars and also review the Principal Effectiveness Survey that I send out before school ends for the year.
This is the third year that I've shared a Principal Effectiveness Survey with may staff, to anonymously complete, where I gain qualitative and quantitative data that solicits opinions, glimmers and challenges from staff with a variety of questions. I honestly use the responses from this survey to recognize areas of my personality, leadership style or decisions that I made throughout the year that have made the school a better place and things that I've done that have caused undue stress, hurt the culture of the building or made my staff's life harder.
I truly believe that my job as an administrator is to support my staff, give them what they need to be successful, take challenges off their plate; to allow them to do what they do best - teach our students and create classroom communities that are caring, supportive and thriving. However, we are all human and there is definitely times that I haven't made the right decision, I've said the wrong thing, I wasn't as transparent in my communication or just someone doesn't like me.
When I review the responses from the survey, sometimes I cry. It's hard to read rough responses. There have been times where I would have appreciated someone saying their feelings to my face, instead of waiting until the end of the year to spue their grievances, but then I have to realize that I haven't established enough trust with that staff member, and they don't necessarily feel that they can share their truth with me. Those instances, along with some suggestions (some are easily implemented, some are more complex), I need to read with an open mind and see how I can incorporate a change in myself, my leadership practices and the overall culture of the school.
A common theme from this years survey is for me to increase clarity in my communication. Staff is asking me to be more transparent with the "why" behind my decision making process and include them more, in those decisions. Also, I need to watch how I communicate, in regards to professional boundaries. Not everyone needs to hear my true thoughts, gossiping about other staff or family members is not productive and for a leader it is inappropriate. Towards the end of last school year, I was getting sucked into those conversations, which then diminished trust between myself and several staff members. If I want people to trust me, I need to be trustworthy with my actions and my words.
“Your dignity can be mocked, abused, compromised, toyed with, lowered, and even badmouthed, but it can never be taken from you. You have the power today to reset your boundaries, restore your image, start fresh with renewed values, and rebuild what has happened to you in the past.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
Ever since I was a little kid, summer time is my favorite time for reading. My mom would sign me up for the library summer reading program. I would read a ton of books, get rewards and prizes and discover knowledge or worlds that I've never seen or could dream about. I still love summer reading. I sit on my deck, soak in the sun and read. Majority of what I read is non-fiction leadership, self-help or yoga book. I do try to read fiction, usually with a female protagonist that proves everyone wrong or uses her own smarts to find the serial killer, overcome challenges or become the best woman she can be.
Reading is an act of self-love for me. Reading and writing allow me to learn and grow, experience life outside of myself or reflect on ways that I too can change, evolve and be empowered.
Journaling my thoughts, writing stories or creating yoga sequences allows me to be creative, reflect on my own thoughts and release anxieties or worries. I enjoy finding the right words that expresses my thoughts, being able to share my truth in writing, permanently etched in my notebook or on this blog, is very freeing as well as grounding. I look forward to my Sunday routine of writing, reflecting on my week and diving into an area of self-study or self-observation, also called svadhyaya.
The key aspects of Svadhyaya is having mindful awareness, walking through life or during my yoga practice. I recognize my physical sensations, breath and thoughts. When those feelings, sensations or thoughts to arise, I need to be non-judgmental of myself. None of it is good or bad, it just is. However, I can recognize several patterns in my life and use that knowledge for self-development and personal growth.
The deeper understanding I have about myself, further develops an understanding I will have of others. Practicing non-judgement for my own insecurities, shortcomings and mistakes, encourages me to practice the same for others. Living with compassion, as well as leading with curiosity, not judgement will allow me to be open for trusting relationships, clearer communication and creating positive energy in and around me.
"When we observe ourselves without judgment, we welcome in more insight, more truths, and more opportunity for change" - Molly Chanson - Yoga Wise
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